Published: 12 May 2022
"You forgot to mention the beer" said Max.
"Damn. Your right Max, I think I was getting carried away there for a moment."
"A moment?",said Max, "You've been grumbling about the book for a month now to anyone who would listen."
"Well be fair Max, that doesn't amount to much grumbling at all. There have been very few who would listen and in point of fact, all of those only listened metaphorically in that they read a post or two on FB."
"Unfortunately" said Max "one of us, being trapped in your head, has had little choice but to listen to every syllable of your complaints, fully formulated or not."
"Repetitious or not."
"Max it's your fault."
"My fault?" said Max. "It wasn't me that wrote the thing, nor was it I that voted for it to be awarded the accolade of "Mann Booker prize winner. My only contribution was to pee on the trees."
"I mean Max, that it is your fault that I have forgotten again to mention the beer. Your distracting me,"
"I'm distracting you by taking the trouble to remind you of your omission? Why there's gratitude."
"Peace Max. Peace. Please, munch on these chicken, beef and liver rolls while I try to compose my thoughts on the rather splendid Silver King from Osset Brewery."
"Compose your thoughts indeed. Surely all you need to do is decide whether it is or is not, superior to the White Rat from the same stable."
"Aye but there's the rub."
"The knotty problem, the crux of the issue."
"You can't decide can you?" said Max.
"It's tricky Max. Silver King is in theory limited by only using Cascade hops, whereas ‘White Rat’ has a combination of ...."
"You sound like a Booker prize judge." said Max. "I would have thought a single sniff of both would perfectly resolve the issue."
"It's more than aroma that's at stake here Max. The palette is a complex organ."
"I'm not sure " said Max, "that the palette is an organ at all, but surely when you have them side by side, sip one and then the other. Then decide."
"But that's the problem Max. I've never had them side by side."
Beer and biscuits
- Banks' Bitter
- Loop Daddy
- A day without beer.
- Silver King
- Red Raven
- Manhattan Project
- Free beer.
- Netherfield Lagoons.
- Ludlow Blondes
- Ilkley Summer
- Midnight Owl
- Dancing Duck
- Bass in the Chestnut
- Harvest Pale
- Slap in the Face
- Elsie Mo
- Green King IPA
- The Famous Grouse
- Piffle Snonker
- Snowhite Pale
- Electric Dreams
- Theakston's Old Peculiar
- Bass - King's Head
- Speculation Ale
- Summer Storm
- Black Sheep
- Citra - The Embankment
- Butcombe Original
- Oakham Citra
- Catch the Rain
- Modern Love
- Postcode Envy
- Shipstones' Goldstar
- American IPA
- Brother Rabbit
- The Outrun - Amy Liptrot.
- The Enemy Within (4th Edition) - Seumas Milne 2014
- Tessa, The Trader's Wife - Louis Becke (1901)
- The End of the Tether - Conrad (1902)
- La Dame Aux Camilias - Alexandre Dumas
- Turn of the Screw - Henry James
- The Beast in the Jungle - Henry James (1903)
- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Caroll 1807
- Man and Maid - Elinor Glyn (1922)
- The Hollow Needle - Maurice Leblanc = 1909
- Montpelier Parade - Karl Geary
- Five Run Away Together. - Enid Blyton
- Dracula - Bram Stoker - 1897
- Days Without End - Sebastion Barry (2016)
- The Witch Finders's Sister
- A Week in December - Sebastian Faulks
- The Devil and Miss Prym - Paul Coelho - 2000
- The Long and Winding Road - A Memoir (Alan Johnson 2016)
- William (Richmal Crompton 1929)