Published: 08 August 2019
Brother Rabbit from Thornbridge. A pleasant enough beer but not a patch on the Bluebird.
"Thornbridge" said Max, "Wheres that?"
"That's the name of the brewery Max, I don't think its a place, well it might be as well, but this Thornbridge is in Bakewell."
"That," said Max "is where the tarts come from."
"Er, well I'm not sure we're allowed to say that any more Max and anyway they're not tarts they're puddings."
"Oh" said Max "so it's ok to be fattist?"
"No, no, no, I didn't mean that. I wasn't talking about ... about ..."
"Tarts." said Max, "You wern't talking about tarts?"
"No, well yes. I was talking about tarts but.."
"Not all tarts are puddings?" ventured Max.
"Well obviously not but ..."
"Tarts are alright so long as they're not puddings?"
"No, well yes. Both tarts and puddings are ok but your Bakewell tart is not a tart ... It's a pudding and it's upside down."
"The tart is the wrong way up?" said Max.
"Yes." I said, "It is."
"So you claim an a priori right to decide which way up you should have a tart?" said Max.
"Not a tart a pudding."
"So it's ok to have an upside down pudding?" said Max.
"It's ok for both tarts and puddings to be upside down."
"Really" said Max, "then why mention it all?"
There was a long pause. "Have they returned to having treats on the bar?" said Max.
"No Max, they have not."
"And you haven't yet started a campaign to bring that about?"
"Well perhaps I could have a tart then" said Max, "or a pudding?"
"They don't have tarts, or puddings here Max"
"Hrrumph" said Max, "then I have nothing to do here except lie under the table farting"
Beer and biscuits
- Banks' Bitter
- Loop Daddy
- A day without beer.
- Silver King
- Red Raven
- Manhattan Project
- Free beer.
- Netherfield Lagoons.
- Ludlow Blondes
- Ilkley Summer
- Midnight Owl
- Dancing Duck
- Bass in the Chestnut
- Harvest Pale
- Slap in the Face
- Elsie Mo
- Green King IPA
- The Famous Grouse
- Piffle Snonker
- Snowhite Pale
- Electric Dreams
- Theakston's Old Peculiar
- Bass - King's Head
- Speculation Ale
- Summer Storm
- Black Sheep
- Citra - The Embankment
- Butcombe Original
- Oakham Citra
- Catch the Rain
- Modern Love
- Postcode Envy
- Shipstones' Goldstar
- American IPA
- Brother Rabbit
- The Outrun - Amy Liptrot.
- The Enemy Within (4th Edition) - Seumas Milne 2014
- Tessa, The Trader's Wife - Louis Becke (1901)
- The End of the Tether - Conrad (1902)
- La Dame Aux Camilias - Alexandre Dumas
- Turn of the Screw - Henry James
- The Beast in the Jungle - Henry James (1903)
- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Caroll 1807
- Man and Maid - Elinor Glyn (1922)
- The Hollow Needle - Maurice Leblanc = 1909
- Montpelier Parade - Karl Geary
- Five Run Away Together. - Enid Blyton
- Dracula - Bram Stoker - 1897
- Days Without End - Sebastion Barry (2016)
- The Witch Finders's Sister
- A Week in December - Sebastian Faulks
- The Devil and Miss Prym - Paul Coelho - 2000
- The Long and Winding Road - A Memoir (Alan Johnson 2016)
- William (Richmal Crompton 1929)